Testing.

Did this go through? Did it happen?

Did I make my mark on the internet?

Ha!

M.A.S.H. game

It seems almost unbelievable that when I was a kid, I could open up a notebook with its fresh shiny spiral wire binding, and write in it for hours, and there it would be, the next day, a record of me in that moment. Scrawling or carefully scribing in bubbled blue ballpoint about the best friend who hates me, the new shirt I bought with allowance, the boys (oh the endless) I am crushing on ... ad nauseam!

After a while, I'd start to worry about someone finding that notebook. That singular romance of unblemished bright red or orange or yellow cover marred with ink smears or doodles or scuff marks. The promise of spiral wire dulling and bending and flattening - in the worst cases becoming rusted and the top crimped bit coming undone and snagging at sweaters, poking into your fingers when you pull it from your bag.

And now, this. My own computer, brightly glowing into the night, the only sounds are me and my breath and the ice cubes slowly cracking in the glass, tip tapping of keys, and me me me, all over the screen. This self-indulgence is slightly addictive, I admit, and I wonder why it's double-spacing the lines, and I wonder why this is so complex and yet so easy. In one instant, in a saucy little click of the mouse, I have shared with the outside world.

This translation of my words through machine is a wonder, but I can't help but think back to those poor battered notebooks, stacked in some plastic bin somewhere, turning yellower with each passing year - we didn't know about archival paper in the 70's and 80's did we? We kids? We of the mighty four-color ballpoints and the neon sneakers. Our legacy seems to be pointed directly at our future.

So here I sit, pixels on the screen before me, geometric and unforgiving squares that we call 'pages,' when they are really anything but.

np: The Child is Gone, Fiona Apple

dina.thenekodas.com

I've never been a morning person, but in the last six months it's as if I've been hurled from some safe corner, and I am stepping out into light, and energy.

Cheesy, but true.

Music is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I am still learning how to control it and make it my own. Mostly, though, I am enjoying myself.

Exhiliration!

np: Wrapped in Grey, xtc

dina.thenekodas.com

Leiphe Lessons!

I've started some personal creative work by following this site. It gets the writing going, I can say that much. It feels like it's been a long time since I've been so creative, and yet like an old friend, the conversation has picked up right where it left off.

And, so:

1. What animals are your favorites?

Cats, birds (I love crows), turtles. Meerkats.

2. Why did you pick these animals?

Hmm, I suppose I went for mostly domesticated or domestic-adaptable animals, didn't I? I like cats because they remind me to be selfish every now and then. I think I forget, in my drive to do as much as possible in one day, to rest and reflect, to nap as if it were an art. Birds have always been in my life - the wingspan of each type of bird is incredibly beautiful and a stunning example of what Nature is capable. Crows touch something inside me, but I am not sure if that's just mythological indoctrination, or something more. Turtles have become special to me as of late, and meerkats? Meerkats are freaky-looking and interesting, and have the coolest name.

3. Have you ever stopped to aid an injured animal?

I have. When I was a kid, I was always splinting baby bird broken wings, and finding little mice and eyedroppering food to them. Sometimes they didn't always make it, and it was terribly sad, but I felt like I always did my best. Nowadays, living in a slightly busier area, there aren't as many animals around, so I don't have the ability to whip out my superhero cape as much any more.

4. Have you ever considered giving money to animal protection charities?

I do, all the time. I also volunteer at the local shelter, to help socialize dogs and cats that have been abandoned. Yeesh, I sound like I regularly rescue children from burning buildings, too, or take bullets for VIPs. It's not that big of a deal - it's just something I make time for every now and then. It's as much for me as it is for the animals, I suspect. There's a lot of healing that goes on when one works with animals. It soothes and almost makes me feel complete.

5. If you could give a certain amount every month to help animals, how much would you feel able to provide?

That's so hard to say - what sort of charity is it? Where does the money go? I'd probably think nothing of $20 per month, but that's just a throwaway figure. It might very well be more, but it'd depend on the mission statement of the charity, and its standing in the community.

Leiphe Lessons

1. What styles of music do you enjoy listening to?

I know it's one of those generic answers (for a rather generic question), but I like pretty much any style. Ever since I started singing, and trying my hand at one or two musical instruments, my musical tastes have opened up in a panoramic sort of way. I see the cross-referencing of beats and influences, the roots of one style blending right into the next. Predictably, I will also say that country and rap tend not to float my boat as much, simply because of the formulaic precedent in the really popular stuff. If it's different, and it means it, I will sit up and listen. I can't help but do so.

2. Do you have any favorite musical artists?

I don't think there's enough space in my web account to list them all! I have a surprising fondness Nina Simone as of late, as well as The Magnetic Fields. There's something wistful and true about both artists/groups that's hitting my heart in the right place at this time in my life.

3. Why do you think these styles and artists appeal to you?

In all music, there is this sense of communicating. Getting a message out to someone, whether they really hear it or not. Most of the music I like is emotive and lyrical, but I also jones for new music that is lyrically rich and and complicated. I feel like I am getting in touch with another side of myself when I immerse myself in music. The critic goes away, and I am left with just me and the reason music exists.

4. Has your musical taste changed as you have grown up?

Not really. :) I've always been this much of a sap.

5. How much do you usually spend on music, including live music events?

Too much, I am sure. Getting studio time for myself is expensive enough, never mind all the artists who breeze through town on crazy whirlwind tours. Several hundred dollars per quarter, all told. Wow. I'd never really added it up like that!

Leiphe Lessons

1. What's your living situation? Is your abode a modest apartment, a studio space, a sprawling mansion, a communal site?

Ethan and I live in a very modest home, I think. Living in such a tech-friendly area, many of the developers and contractors out here decided to build these sprawling, security-clad fortresses. We're safe and sound and all, but our 4 bedroom what-feels-like-a-mansion-to-me house feels like a toy house compared to our neighbors.

2. Do you rent or own?

Own. And boy, am I glad!

3. Talk about the other people in your home, if there are any.

There's Ethan, of course. My love and my light. He's really my only roommate, other than the animals that come and go. (My helping with animal socialization means that sometimes I 'foster' the animals here at my house before they go to a deserving family. It's not as heartbreaking as you'd think, letting go of each animal after they've stayed a while. I save my heartbreak for other things, I guess.)

4. Is moving homes a chore for you? Are you a person with strong ties to your home, or are you able to pick up and go on short notice?

I think I am able to pick up and go on short notice. I like having nice, useful, durable things, but I've had this sense, as I head towards middle age, that I am extremely adaptable to my surroundings. That seems the opposite of what it should be, but it's true. I constantly feel as though I've just arrived, and that everything is new again. It's exciting. I think.

5. Hire movers, or call up friends with strong arms and backs?

Both! Friends are good for the aftermath, when you need to covince that armoir to go up the steps and squozed into a small alcove space or what-have-you. Friends are good for that initial decorating stuff. "No no, Ethan, the dogs playing poker is definitely an item for the basement bar area. I agree with Dina." See? Friends are a good thing.

Leiphe Lessons

1. We've all had dreams, as children. What were your aspirations for adulthood?

It all seems so fuzzy now, looking back. I can't quite remember what I must've yearned for as a wee little kiddy Dina. That seems odd to me. I do remember yearning quite a bit, though. I am thinking perhaps I wanted a bit of everything the world had to offer. I know I explored a lot as a kid. It seemed as though I were always looking for secret doorways to other lands (think Narnia, of course.) Traveling was a huge thing for me, too. Once I was able to travel on my own, I did as much of it as I could. There is so much to see.

2. Talk about your family. What's the most amazing thing about them?

I have my very own Ethan, and the most amazing thing about him is that he managed to find me. He's so amazing.

Oh, he also makes kick-ass waffles.

3. There is a vase of flowers on your desk or kitchen table. Describe the bouquet.

Cheap daisies, lavender, lily of the valley ... yellow roses.

4. Have you ever bought anything from an infomercial?

I dislike going out to shop; I am certainly not going to do more of it at home!

5. When was your last vacation, and how long did you have to save up for it in order to go?

It was probably a year or so ago - I think we just did a weekender in some other city, or something. This last year has been so packed with music stuff, it's been hard to tell. We didn't really have to save up - we already had savings.

Leiphe Lessons

1. What's your favorite hour of the day?

Sadly, it's starting to be the wee hours of the morning - I am torn between the stillness of 4 AM, but 6 is also nice. It's that blue edge right before the sun lights everything and brings color to the landscape. At 4 AM, though - it's a real desert of slate and and melancholia. It's quite lonely, but I write my best music then.

2. What's your least favorite hour of the day?

Noon. It's so busy and brash. I feel like the world is shouting me down, and somehow I have to hold onto my head with all my senses to keep from losing my focus. There's too much ... energy? Oh, come on, it's not like I'm going to faint dead away because I am a delicate flower or something, but I know that as far as creativity goes, noon is my dead hour. To much noise, not enough signal, as it were. (I think I get geek points for that, but I might be outdated yet)

3. Does your job affect your favorite hour? Do you find being away from home can also affect this?

My job doesn't really affect my favorite hour(s), in that if I manage to get enough restful sleep before any schooling or volunteer work, everything is fine. My favorite hour is still a sanctuary untouched by my regular day.

4. Tell us a bit about your day - what shapes your timetable at the moment?

Ooo, this may be cheating, but eventually I want to do a whole long post about this. I like routines, in a way, analyzing them. Finding patterns, and then breaking them. I find that I can breathe easier when I can trick the world into thinking I am doing one thing, when I suddenly go random. More later, if I can remember.

5. Let's say you've got $500 to spend on a given weekend. How would you spend it?

Save it, baby!